Saturday, 21 March 2015

Oops, I didn't see you there


A couple of days ago, I was looking for a cup in my kitchen. I was certain that I had put it in a particular spot but I just could not find it. I happened to move ever so slightly and spotted it 'hidden' behind a bottle. As I looked at them both, I was struck by how similar that is to life. We're on our way down a certain path, something happens to seemingly throw us of course and then bam! We see things in a whole 'nother light. Or we're searching for something and just a slight move reveals it to us. This week, I'd like to talk about the importance of position and perspective.

First up, position. How many times do we have a dream, lay it all out, visualise what it should  look like, what we will be doing and where we see ourselves? Only to step out and find that our dream doesn't seem to be working out like we expected. We strategise and re-strategise, but we just can't seem to make it work. In fact, it seems like our dream has died. My question for you though is: has the dream really died or do you just need to change position? When I started my coaching business, I wrote down what I thought my mission was and came up with an appropriate strapline.  However, as I worked with more women, I came to realise that my mission was slightly different to what I thought. I had 2 options, I could either stick with wasn't working as well as I had hoped or move into the right position and trust that everything else would fall into place as a result of my shift. I took a chance and moved, made a slight adjustment and suddenly I could see something that I had thought was lost. So I ask again: what adjustments do you need to make in order to 'see' your dream again?

My second point is about perspective. As a wise person once said, "it's not the things that happen to us that hurt us, it's how we feel about them that hurts us" That's why 2 people can go through the same situation and come out completely differently. Why does that happen? I'd say the reason for that is a difference in perception. Some of us are made bitter by our experiences and some of us are seasoned by them and end up stronger than before. One person's challenge is another opportunity- it all depends on how you look at things. Going back to where I started, I could have viewed the time I spent looking for the cup as a waste of time. Or I could have received the inspiration it gave me gracefully and run with it (I think you know which option I took).

As I end this week, I'd like to challenge you to reflect on your current position and your perspective of it. Do you need to move from where you are, in order to get to where you want to be? Do you need to practice turning challenges into opportunities? In the end though, it doesn't matter where you are, if you don't like it, move! Move because if you are going to be all that you can be, it requires you to sometimes do things that are scary, things that will stretch you. Move, in order to become the best you that you can possibly be.

Until next week, go well.

Friday, 13 March 2015

Life has a funny way of working out




Back in  May 2012, I wrote a piece about my experiences of being a 'bit of a strange one'.  Nearly 3 years later, being a strange one is back on my mind (in a good way). I'm thinking about how my life is unfolding and I'm quietly laughing at myself for ever fretting about not fitting in. So, with the benefit of hindsight, which as you know is always 20:20 I thought I'd re-visit the whole idea of being a 'bit of a strange one'

Firstly, I'd like to reassure all my fellow worrywarts out there, that it is 100% okay to be a bit strange, because it all works out in the end. I know I'm not the only one out there who's dealt with the angst of not fitting in. However, recently I've had a number of experiences that have confirmed to me that I am just who I should be and that there are people out there who appreciate what I have. Actually, there are people out there who think I'm some kind of wonderful (not to brag or anything, okay maybe just a little bit!)  When I look back and when I consider where I am now, I am one grateful bunny.  Grateful that at last I understand that being myself is all that is required. No more, no less.  So in case you need to hear it, here it is: being yourself is all that is required.  No bells, no whistles, just you with your big bad self. Does that mean that we are perfect? Er no. Does that mean that there aren't things that we would like to change? Double no. What it does mean is that your imperfect, 'work in progress' self is enough. What we need to do is take responsibility for where we are and use it as a launch pad for our journey to our best self.

Secondly, even though life is full of unexpected twists and turns, it's easier to navigate them when you stay true to yourself. Life is hard enough, without having to spend time and energy trying to be someone else! Summer is on its way and I can guarantee that there will be a plethora of diet plans to help you get Jessica Alba's body or Cameron Diaz's body or whoever else's hot body du jour. Don't get me wrong, being fit, healthy and strong is important. What I am saying is that rather than wear yourself out in pursuit of some unattainable standard, make your own body the body du jour. I have a neighbour who is as slender as a pin. I could diet for decades and still not look like her. However, I can work with what I've got and get the best look for my shape. I may not be blessed with long willowy limbs, but when I wear a dress, I wear that dress, if you know what I mean.

So this week, it's all about celebrating us strange ones. I say, come over to the strange side. We need more people over here who know exactly who they are, accept who they are and are journeying to their best selves.


Until next, go well.